The Naked Civil-Servant

Ok, so now i'm writing with renued vigour- i've got a little 9-5 civil service job, which is working out nicely, and will bring in some money so i can now write guilt-free in the evenings. Also on the blogging advice from Danny Stack's blog (Screenwriting in the UK- which is an absolute Godsend, by the way-http://dannystack.blogspot.com/2005/10/script-reader-uk.html) i've made some enquiries into script reading work, and have got a couple of positive responses. So i'm going to plow ahead with my script because i think it'll be good for me to get back into the routine and thought processes of writing, and as well, it'd be nice to have some more substantial examples of my work, should anyone request them.

As you may have read last time i was gutted when i found that the most up to date version of my latest script hadn't been saved, which meant i lost some of the best written scenes of the script...

So, anyhow, when i found out that the script was somehow lost in the innards of my parents computer (long story, but i'd been using their's to write on for a while) i set about finding ways to get this information back.

So i looked about for a bit and found some company that specialised in retrieving lost files. I decided that this seemed like a good idea, and told my folks about it, seen as technically it's their computer, and here's how it goes...

"Hey Dad, i'm thinking of taking the computer in to one of those file retrieval places in Manchester. Would you be ok going without your computer for a few days while i get it sorted out."

"Well, me and your Mother don't mind....But, are you sure you want some stranger looking at the computer?"

"Yeah, i don't mind. As long as it gets the files back, that's fine."

"Ok.......well, are you sure there's nothing on there that you don't want anyone seeing?"

".........."

(Alarm bells start slowly surfacing at this point. I'm thinking "I'm certain there's nothing dodgy on there-if ever i've been sacheting through a gentlemen's website I always do the old delete-the-history-trick)

"Look, i'm sorry to have to bring this up, but your mum was looking through the computer the other day and she came across something......it was a picture of you with no clothes on"

(Oh shit. I remembered. I took a stupid naked photo over a year ago when i was messing around, and somehow i'd forgotten to delete it. Now, my parents are ultra conservative, and my upbringing was painfully stiff in regards to the birds and the bees. So much so that up until this point, my most embarassing moment was when my mum had two glasses of wine at Christmas and laughed at a rude answer on Blankety Blank.)

"Now, don't worry Son, we've all been there and done that.....and i've seen alot worse"

(Reassuring as my Dad's efforts were to aleave my embarassment, he goes on to make it much worse by carrying on trying to emphasise his own 'crazy experimental' youth. Even though i'm pretty sure his genitals pre-date the camera obscura. And so it is that in trying to to rescue my failing script, I turn my relationship with my father into some kind of straight to dvd American Pie knock off.)

and now my mum's seen my cock. Oh joy.